Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Cabal's Strongest Couple: Bleeding Heart & Hiki
Ehehehe,this is meant to be a joke,the idea just came out of nowehere when we were taking screen shots in Cabal. *PS:Click on the slide show to make it bigger,the words are probably to small to be able to read in blogspot.*
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Untitled Story-Edited and Continuation.
I toss my bag aside without stopping my pace, not caring where it lands. The journey to here was windy, but I never felt the wind, never felt the breeze of excitement. I never do, for it was never freedom for me. I started my journey beside the calm sea, when the trees gave me no shelter and the view of that one and only tree where everything about us began gives no solace. The ominous trees and paths that are our ‘battleground’ looked as if painted by blood under the setting sun; I could no longer bear to look at them.
Instead I’ve came here, to this fateful twist in a narrow winding road that will haunt me forever through my whole life. I’ve came here to stare out into the dark churning waters. I’ve not come to this place to swear on vengeance, nor am I here to blame anyone for my own fault. No, this time this moment, I am here to struggle with memories and bask in the solitude of darkness.
It has been a long road, coming to this very moment. A rough one, and even at this very moment, it still surprises me that I still has the strength in me struggling to kept on fighting, still have the soul in me to continue on this empty and meaningless life of mine.
How long has it been, since Her heart’s disappearance from my life, I couldn’t remember, it’s as if I don’t want to remember anything. Yet my heart refuses to tell me why I could still see Her face every time I close my eyes, why I could still hear Her pained scream in my mind, could still feel the lingering touch of Her lips on mine, yet with the taste of blood on my tongue, back then.
I have neither patience nor inclination for the games. I fight for real, to find the answers to my questions and most importantly, the reason of Hers. Her final words to me said as much, but there are other things, other questions that left a sick feeling in my gut and a bitter taste in my mouth.
But about my life aren’t what is bothering me. If there’s one thing besides how to hate those days where I’ve learnt to not care about anyone. ‘In the end you lost everyone. In the end, you’ll always be alone. Never trust anyone, for everyone has their own agenda and will betray and abandon you eventually. If those let you down, it’ll only be your own damn fucking fault.’
If I ever lost in my own battle, there will be no one related to it, and everything would be just fine. Life’s a battleground, and it would be just my own life on the line, as always.
But I couldn’t say the same, nor could I ever think that way again, now could I? No, not ever since Her, and Your appearance in my life. So how did You and Her became so important to me? I couldn’t remember it well.
Her, that very first person who broke through this ice wall I’ve built, stole my heart with Her love, yet as fate, that I once never believe in, cruelly sets the play being She tore my heart, throws it back to me and left me bleeding in the end. So how did She do it? I never really found the answers, but perhaps it was the loneliness that’s been burning me through my life, or maybe it was the solitude I yearned for, yet despised so venomously, that let Her kindness and warmth to destroy this wall that I so desperately built, so damn easily.
Now that I think of it, where did all my trust went to, back then? It just seemed like they never existed, this world and this so called reality, has always been a living lie to me, with everyone wearing intention filled masquerade. Yet the moment She appeared in my life, for me, the person who has been living through lies that made me never trust anyone, feels like everything that I’ve built came crushing down, yet at the same time freed me from the ever burning loneliness, like hell yet like heaven at the same time, I don’t know.
And like every happy beginning, with naivety I wished for love that will last forever, forever that only existed in fairytales, forever that doesn’t even exist in this reality. And as fate toys with my fear, no happy ending ever came to me, leaving me bleeding and broken. Just like that, I’m thrown into darkness that hurts me more than ever, leaving a wound that I couldn’t stop the bleeding.
Back then, life became so meaningless to me, to the point that I was foolish and selfish enough to think of suicide, and as if threaten by my desire for death, She forced Herself to be with me, to kept me away from death. And although I desired for Her more than anything, I couldn’t bear the thoughts of hurting her, which ended up me being alone all over again. But really, what’s the point of being together, when Her heart isn’t with me anymore?
I took my time, to pursue with ignorance towards the pain, at the same time to try and heal that bleeding wound. Although I know all my efforts are in vain, I never understand what drove to me to keep on trying, and perhaps it was my ignorance towards Her pain that led me on even further. But as time passes, I understood that She didn’t mean to hurt me, and through the whole time I walked deeper into the world of darkness, She never once left me behind, even though I’ve hurt Her more and longer than perhaps anyone else ever, She never once abandon me. As time goes on, I moved on as well, but not without wounds that will leave scars I’ll remember for a very long time.
Through all these time, I tried to rebuild the walls that She broke, to protect myself from the pain that I fear so much. Although I tried so desperately, so hard to build a stronger wall around my wounded heart, my attempts are futile, as somehow unconsciously I let my guard down, and You found Your way in, but ever so gently, stole my heart once again, and patiently healed the wound with each passing moments. Although many times I’ve drowned myself in the memories of the past, hurting You at the same time, You never once abandon me, but instead encouraged me to overcome my fear, accept my past, and to grow stronger.
During my time with You, I’ve learnt to love once again, by putting aside the fear and pain of old memories, I fought to be braver and stronger to the point I could support Her to be with Him. Although all my attempts of encouraging them to be together were futile, I never once regretted, for I understood that I could finally let go of Her, and still an important person to me, Her happiness is all I could ever wish for.
Although I tried to let go of the painful but sinful past, they always found their way back to me one way another. As Him and Her that I still trust, throws me to the feeling of being betrayed by someone I trust so much. Perhaps it was because of my ignorance attempts of pursuing Her back then, that led me to that day, that feeling, still I couldn’t help and feel betrayed, hurting me more than ever. And if it weren’t for You, I would have been lost in the maze of anger and pain, and perhaps I would never be able to learn to forgive them.
There are still times that I reminisce of how You led me out from those memories of my painful yet sinful past, it made me think that perhaps I would be still drowning in fear and pain to this very day, if it weren't for You. But even though I’ve accepted and let go of the past, my fear never dissipated completely, for within my heart, I still fear that there’s a day that You’d leave me, and I’ll once again being consumed by the burning loneliness and solitude that I despised so venomously. Selfishly as any other human beings, I want You, I need You, by my side, and like a fool I am, continue hoping that You’ll be by my side for the longest of times.
Feel free to leave a comment,but please don't be too harsh,cause this is the first story I ever wrote and I'm weak hearted XD
Pardon me if there's any wrong spelling or grammar/tenses mistakes,I suck in English,in fact I suck with every language I know XD
I continued this from 4+ in the morning,and I've not sleep for more than 18 hours,so it might not be good.. I might edit it when I'm more awake if I have better ideas.*yawn* Well then,good night ya all.
*I've edited it after having enough sleep,xD I hope it's better now..*
I might continue this with a story.. Or maybe not,cause I've no idea where this is going yet,but I'll continue if I have ideas and time.Thank you very much for reading.
Instead I’ve came here, to this fateful twist in a narrow winding road that will haunt me forever through my whole life. I’ve came here to stare out into the dark churning waters. I’ve not come to this place to swear on vengeance, nor am I here to blame anyone for my own fault. No, this time this moment, I am here to struggle with memories and bask in the solitude of darkness.
It has been a long road, coming to this very moment. A rough one, and even at this very moment, it still surprises me that I still has the strength in me struggling to kept on fighting, still have the soul in me to continue on this empty and meaningless life of mine.
How long has it been, since Her heart’s disappearance from my life, I couldn’t remember, it’s as if I don’t want to remember anything. Yet my heart refuses to tell me why I could still see Her face every time I close my eyes, why I could still hear Her pained scream in my mind, could still feel the lingering touch of Her lips on mine, yet with the taste of blood on my tongue, back then.
I have neither patience nor inclination for the games. I fight for real, to find the answers to my questions and most importantly, the reason of Hers. Her final words to me said as much, but there are other things, other questions that left a sick feeling in my gut and a bitter taste in my mouth.
But about my life aren’t what is bothering me. If there’s one thing besides how to hate those days where I’ve learnt to not care about anyone. ‘In the end you lost everyone. In the end, you’ll always be alone. Never trust anyone, for everyone has their own agenda and will betray and abandon you eventually. If those let you down, it’ll only be your own damn fucking fault.’
If I ever lost in my own battle, there will be no one related to it, and everything would be just fine. Life’s a battleground, and it would be just my own life on the line, as always.
But I couldn’t say the same, nor could I ever think that way again, now could I? No, not ever since Her, and Your appearance in my life. So how did You and Her became so important to me? I couldn’t remember it well.
Her, that very first person who broke through this ice wall I’ve built, stole my heart with Her love, yet as fate, that I once never believe in, cruelly sets the play being She tore my heart, throws it back to me and left me bleeding in the end. So how did She do it? I never really found the answers, but perhaps it was the loneliness that’s been burning me through my life, or maybe it was the solitude I yearned for, yet despised so venomously, that let Her kindness and warmth to destroy this wall that I so desperately built, so damn easily.
Now that I think of it, where did all my trust went to, back then? It just seemed like they never existed, this world and this so called reality, has always been a living lie to me, with everyone wearing intention filled masquerade. Yet the moment She appeared in my life, for me, the person who has been living through lies that made me never trust anyone, feels like everything that I’ve built came crushing down, yet at the same time freed me from the ever burning loneliness, like hell yet like heaven at the same time, I don’t know.
And like every happy beginning, with naivety I wished for love that will last forever, forever that only existed in fairytales, forever that doesn’t even exist in this reality. And as fate toys with my fear, no happy ending ever came to me, leaving me bleeding and broken. Just like that, I’m thrown into darkness that hurts me more than ever, leaving a wound that I couldn’t stop the bleeding.
Back then, life became so meaningless to me, to the point that I was foolish and selfish enough to think of suicide, and as if threaten by my desire for death, She forced Herself to be with me, to kept me away from death. And although I desired for Her more than anything, I couldn’t bear the thoughts of hurting her, which ended up me being alone all over again. But really, what’s the point of being together, when Her heart isn’t with me anymore?
I took my time, to pursue with ignorance towards the pain, at the same time to try and heal that bleeding wound. Although I know all my efforts are in vain, I never understand what drove to me to keep on trying, and perhaps it was my ignorance towards Her pain that led me on even further. But as time passes, I understood that She didn’t mean to hurt me, and through the whole time I walked deeper into the world of darkness, She never once left me behind, even though I’ve hurt Her more and longer than perhaps anyone else ever, She never once abandon me. As time goes on, I moved on as well, but not without wounds that will leave scars I’ll remember for a very long time.
Through all these time, I tried to rebuild the walls that She broke, to protect myself from the pain that I fear so much. Although I tried so desperately, so hard to build a stronger wall around my wounded heart, my attempts are futile, as somehow unconsciously I let my guard down, and You found Your way in, but ever so gently, stole my heart once again, and patiently healed the wound with each passing moments. Although many times I’ve drowned myself in the memories of the past, hurting You at the same time, You never once abandon me, but instead encouraged me to overcome my fear, accept my past, and to grow stronger.
During my time with You, I’ve learnt to love once again, by putting aside the fear and pain of old memories, I fought to be braver and stronger to the point I could support Her to be with Him. Although all my attempts of encouraging them to be together were futile, I never once regretted, for I understood that I could finally let go of Her, and still an important person to me, Her happiness is all I could ever wish for.
Although I tried to let go of the painful but sinful past, they always found their way back to me one way another. As Him and Her that I still trust, throws me to the feeling of being betrayed by someone I trust so much. Perhaps it was because of my ignorance attempts of pursuing Her back then, that led me to that day, that feeling, still I couldn’t help and feel betrayed, hurting me more than ever. And if it weren’t for You, I would have been lost in the maze of anger and pain, and perhaps I would never be able to learn to forgive them.
There are still times that I reminisce of how You led me out from those memories of my painful yet sinful past, it made me think that perhaps I would be still drowning in fear and pain to this very day, if it weren't for You. But even though I’ve accepted and let go of the past, my fear never dissipated completely, for within my heart, I still fear that there’s a day that You’d leave me, and I’ll once again being consumed by the burning loneliness and solitude that I despised so venomously. Selfishly as any other human beings, I want You, I need You, by my side, and like a fool I am, continue hoping that You’ll be by my side for the longest of times.
Feel free to leave a comment,but please don't be too harsh,cause this is the first story I ever wrote and I'm weak hearted XD
Pardon me if there's any wrong spelling or grammar/tenses mistakes,I suck in English,in fact I suck with every language I know XD
I continued this from 4+ in the morning,and I've not sleep for more than 18 hours,so it might not be good.. I might edit it when I'm more awake if I have better ideas.*yawn* Well then,good night ya all.
*I've edited it after having enough sleep,xD I hope it's better now..*
I might continue this with a story.. Or maybe not,cause I've no idea where this is going yet,but I'll continue if I have ideas and time.Thank you very much for reading.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
17th April 2009 0839-1015
This is but
A wailing heart
A feeling
Of lost
Hear it
Silent cries of sorrow
Desperate wails of despair
Can you?
Seen it
Grey tears of sadness
Black blood of pain
Have you?
Feel it
Painful feelings
Of a broken heart
Did you?
Find it
Lurking emotions beneath
The hollow smiling masquerade
Could you?
My world
Bears nothingness
But broken feelings
But forgotten emotions
Constant reminder
To feel
To remember
All I have left
Are memories
I still Love to write Melancholic poems.
A wailing heart
A feeling
Of lost
Hear it
Silent cries of sorrow
Desperate wails of despair
Can you?
Seen it
Grey tears of sadness
Black blood of pain
Have you?
Feel it
Painful feelings
Of a broken heart
Did you?
Find it
Lurking emotions beneath
The hollow smiling masquerade
Could you?
My world
Bears nothingness
But broken feelings
But forgotten emotions
Constant reminder
To feel
To remember
All I have left
Are memories
I still Love to write Melancholic poems.
31st August 2009 0406-0508
One could tell
The feeling of
Infinite passion without boundary
From the touch of lips
And the lightest of touch
One says that
The true beauty
Lies within the eyes
Of the beholder
Your beauty
My love
That others never see
Lies within my eyes
The beholder
The Lover
One could tell
The feeling of
Love without lies
From one's eyes
A love that is
Learned and understood
From the feeling
Of my heart and soul
I show my love
From these very eyes
The stares
Filled with longing
I show my love
From my very lips
The words
The kisses
Filled with feelings
I show my love
From these very hands
The featherly lightest of touches
The gentle caresses
Filled with passion
Yet I know not how
To show and give my love
With this heart within my chest
That never misses
To beat for only you
Tell me
Can you see it?
The love and longing
For you
In my eyes?
Can you feel it?
Though with lust
Yet the love and passion
From my kisses and touches?
Can you hear it?
Do you believe it?
The love and affection
Whispered from my very lips
And this beating heart?
Cause I love you
And only you
Without a doubt
With all I could give
Never with hesitation
The feeling of
Infinite passion without boundary
From the touch of lips
And the lightest of touch
One says that
The true beauty
Lies within the eyes
Of the beholder
Your beauty
My love
That others never see
Lies within my eyes
The beholder
The Lover
One could tell
The feeling of
Love without lies
From one's eyes
A love that is
Learned and understood
From the feeling
Of my heart and soul
I show my love
From these very eyes
The stares
Filled with longing
I show my love
From my very lips
The words
The kisses
Filled with feelings
I show my love
From these very hands
The featherly lightest of touches
The gentle caresses
Filled with passion
Yet I know not how
To show and give my love
With this heart within my chest
That never misses
To beat for only you
Tell me
Can you see it?
The love and longing
For you
In my eyes?
Can you feel it?
Though with lust
Yet the love and passion
From my kisses and touches?
Can you hear it?
Do you believe it?
The love and affection
Whispered from my very lips
And this beating heart?
Cause I love you
And only you
Without a doubt
With all I could give
Never with hesitation
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Cabal Warrior BleedingHeart and Her Lady Hiki
Cabal Warrior (Me aka Bleedingheart) and Milady (Jaslynn aka Hiki)
~In Love~
.jpg)
~Forever Yours~
~The Knight and Her Princess~
.jpg)
~Milady~
.jpg)
~In Love~
.jpg)
~Forever Yours~
~The Knight and Her Princess~
.jpg)
~Milady~
.jpg)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
17th January 2009 10:12-11:27
It feels so close
Yet so far
As if you are just in front of me
Yet so unreachable
My thought searches for you every second
My mind sees you every moment
During my half consciousness
Making myself drown into
My own world of illusion
My lips kissed yours in every darkness
My hands touched you every midnight
During my unconscious moments
Making myself drown into
My own world of hope and dream
My eyes found you every night
My feelings reach out for you with every words
Yet I feel as though I am just
Whispering an unheard prayer
Illusions, imaginations, dreams
Unconscious lies
Unrequited feelings
Unbestowed wishes and prayers
I do not know what to believe
I see no truth nor reality
Seduced by the fog of desire
Blinded by the fog of
White lies, illusions, dreams
Perhaps it is the distance
That hurts me so
But it is the truth of reality
Of you not belonging to me
Rips me inside out
Agonizingly
Wow..I even sound emo while writing for Her <_<|||
Sweat me.
Yet so far
As if you are just in front of me
Yet so unreachable
My thought searches for you every second
My mind sees you every moment
During my half consciousness
Making myself drown into
My own world of illusion
My lips kissed yours in every darkness
My hands touched you every midnight
During my unconscious moments
Making myself drown into
My own world of hope and dream
My eyes found you every night
My feelings reach out for you with every words
Yet I feel as though I am just
Whispering an unheard prayer
Illusions, imaginations, dreams
Unconscious lies
Unrequited feelings
Unbestowed wishes and prayers
I do not know what to believe
I see no truth nor reality
Seduced by the fog of desire
Blinded by the fog of
White lies, illusions, dreams
Perhaps it is the distance
That hurts me so
But it is the truth of reality
Of you not belonging to me
Rips me inside out
Agonizingly
Wow..I even sound emo while writing for Her <_<|||
Sweat me.
14th January 2009 11:15-20:06
All those passions I see in your eyes
All those feelings I felt inside
All those increased beats of my heart
Are what made me believe
While your spirit gives me
Strength and will
I could see it
I could feel it
But you do not seem to realize
It is as if I could feel
What your heart tells you
As if I could read
What your mind tells you
All we need is to give in
Into our heart’s desire
All we need is to put trust
Into the feelings we felt
If your heart and feelings
Tells you to seek for affection
Something more than friendship
But your mind tells you to stop
From giving into desire
Your decision
If you ever decided
For something more or less
There is no need to seek far
For I will always be here for you
All those feelings I felt inside
All those increased beats of my heart
Are what made me believe
While your spirit gives me
Strength and will
I could see it
I could feel it
But you do not seem to realize
It is as if I could feel
What your heart tells you
As if I could read
What your mind tells you
All we need is to give in
Into our heart’s desire
All we need is to put trust
Into the feelings we felt
If your heart and feelings
Tells you to seek for affection
Something more than friendship
But your mind tells you to stop
From giving into desire
Your decision
If you ever decided
For something more or less
There is no need to seek far
For I will always be here for you
14th January 2009 11:15-20:06
All the passion in your eyes
All the feelings in your soul
All the love that is in your heart
Are what composes you
While your spirit reminds me
Of fire and strength
But you can not seem to see it
Or your conscious seems to hide it
In your heart you feel it is real
But in your mind it is disbelief
In your heart you feel it is true
But your thoughts deceive you
All you need is to believe
In your heart
All you need is to be true
To your feelings
If you seek for affection
And can not seem to find it
Seek from a dissimilar soul
A resemblance in your composure
You do not have to seek for
Nor do you have to seek low
For this unique person
Is someone you know
Just in front of you
All the feelings in your soul
All the love that is in your heart
Are what composes you
While your spirit reminds me
Of fire and strength
But you can not seem to see it
Or your conscious seems to hide it
In your heart you feel it is real
But in your mind it is disbelief
In your heart you feel it is true
But your thoughts deceive you
All you need is to believe
In your heart
All you need is to be true
To your feelings
If you seek for affection
And can not seem to find it
Seek from a dissimilar soul
A resemblance in your composure
You do not have to seek for
Nor do you have to seek low
For this unique person
Is someone you know
Just in front of you
Fraud Filled Lies 10-10-2008 08:43
This world
Filled with frauds
Lies
Facades
There is
No one could be trusted
No one to believe
Only lies remained
Everything is
An illusion
Everyone wears
A mask
Trust not even
Oneself
For you have
Your own masquerade
Everything is
An illusion
Everyone wears
A mask
We live our lives
With a mask
A fake smile
Down this endless path
Full of lies
We call reality
In this world,right now,there is no such thing as TRUTH anymore..
Filled with frauds
Lies
Facades
There is
No one could be trusted
No one to believe
Only lies remained
Everything is
An illusion
Everyone wears
A mask
Trust not even
Oneself
For you have
Your own masquerade
Everything is
An illusion
Everyone wears
A mask
We live our lives
With a mask
A fake smile
Down this endless path
Full of lies
We call reality
In this world,right now,there is no such thing as TRUTH anymore..
You Don't 01-10-2008
I can't feel
Can't remember
If only
I wish
Tell me
What I could do
Not
What should I do
Cause you
Don't know
Don't understand
My feelings
Who are you
To judge
To say as if
You understand me?
Who are you
To tell me
What I should do
Thinking that as if
You know how I feel?
You know not
My thoughts
You understand not
My feelings
You have
No rights
I have
My own thoughts
You know
Nothing
Only I understand
My own feelings
Nobody can completely understand another person,in your ways of speaking,you might not even know a little of how they felt.
Can't remember
If only
I wish
Tell me
What I could do
Not
What should I do
Cause you
Don't know
Don't understand
My feelings
Who are you
To judge
To say as if
You understand me?
Who are you
To tell me
What I should do
Thinking that as if
You know how I feel?
You know not
My thoughts
You understand not
My feelings
You have
No rights
I have
My own thoughts
You know
Nothing
Only I understand
My own feelings
Nobody can completely understand another person,in your ways of speaking,you might not even know a little of how they felt.
Mascarade
As we fight
Hidden pain
Numbing heartaches
My tears fall
All over again
Walking away
Hiding behind a masquerade
You are the one
Who I do not understand
I think of you and nothing else
As the agonizing pain returns
I close my eyes
And grit my teeth
As the tiredness begin
I build my mask
I build my wall
And hold my tears
As the numbness and pain came
I clench my fists
And punches the wall
Hoping it will take away
My tears and heartaches
I will learn
To withhold my tears and pain
I will learn
To withhold my words
And walk away with a masquerade
Anger is a very... Uncontrollable and Dangerous thing.
Hidden pain
Numbing heartaches
My tears fall
All over again
Walking away
Hiding behind a masquerade
You are the one
Who I do not understand
I think of you and nothing else
As the agonizing pain returns
I close my eyes
And grit my teeth
As the tiredness begin
I build my mask
I build my wall
And hold my tears
As the numbness and pain came
I clench my fists
And punches the wall
Hoping it will take away
My tears and heartaches
I will learn
To withhold my tears and pain
I will learn
To withhold my words
And walk away with a masquerade
Anger is a very... Uncontrollable and Dangerous thing.
Nothing
Before you left
I saw your eyes
They are no longer warm and caring
Your eyes are in a daze
Dark and foggy
Just like the night
You left
Your heart turn into maze
Where I could not find
Leaving me lost inside
Cold and dark
You left
My heart is no longer full of feelings
But empty and cold
If I could, I would have wish
I never had one from the beginning
For this pain is unbearable
Why?
My days are gray
Consumed by darkness
No longer different from the night
Nothingness is all I had
Why?
My mind is empty
Empty and gray
All thoughts are dead
You left
Why?
I no longer have the will to live
For you see
My life is meaningless without you
So empty, unfeeling, garish, and dark
Because
You left
I no longer have any reason to live
And this is where everything will end
Why?
Because, this is what you have left behind
Emptiness, thoughtless, nothingness
What have you done to me...? This ain't random.
I saw your eyes
They are no longer warm and caring
Your eyes are in a daze
Dark and foggy
Just like the night
You left
Your heart turn into maze
Where I could not find
Leaving me lost inside
Cold and dark
You left
My heart is no longer full of feelings
But empty and cold
If I could, I would have wish
I never had one from the beginning
For this pain is unbearable
Why?
My days are gray
Consumed by darkness
No longer different from the night
Nothingness is all I had
Why?
My mind is empty
Empty and gray
All thoughts are dead
You left
Why?
I no longer have the will to live
For you see
My life is meaningless without you
So empty, unfeeling, garish, and dark
Because
You left
I no longer have any reason to live
And this is where everything will end
Why?
Because, this is what you have left behind
Emptiness, thoughtless, nothingness
What have you done to me...? This ain't random.
Gone
Now I want you when you are gone
And now it is like you are holding something just in front of me
Where the place we been together before
I could not say I do not like it
Since where and when did I start to write these down?
You were standing right there before anything happens
Letting me plunge you into my world
You have made my world insane
Yearning for you every day and night
It comes alive
And I die a little more
As I know as stillness shatters
And drown both of us into the darkness
I will stand and fight
Until the end
I will not be afraid of death
Bury me tonight my beloved
Burn my soul and destroy my mortality
Please believe me
That this cruel world deceives me
Do not stand me up
Leave me for I have fallen
And this will be the beginning of the endless love
What makes you think that it will all works out in the end?
Afraid to feel that I do not have to try and pretend
That I am immortal and immune to all that is wrong?
Never keep on wishing, for this is the end
You stared the dark starless night in wonder
Wondering who will be the one to bring the me that belonged to you down
Never wondering if that person will be nobody but yourself
Find your martyr for I am sure you have created the destiny
Light a fire under my bones so when I die
I could die for you at least
And die alone
It is not nothing for me to end up like this
Love is INSANE... INSANE I TELL YOU!
And now it is like you are holding something just in front of me
Where the place we been together before
I could not say I do not like it
Since where and when did I start to write these down?
You were standing right there before anything happens
Letting me plunge you into my world
You have made my world insane
Yearning for you every day and night
It comes alive
And I die a little more
As I know as stillness shatters
And drown both of us into the darkness
I will stand and fight
Until the end
I will not be afraid of death
Bury me tonight my beloved
Burn my soul and destroy my mortality
Please believe me
That this cruel world deceives me
Do not stand me up
Leave me for I have fallen
And this will be the beginning of the endless love
What makes you think that it will all works out in the end?
Afraid to feel that I do not have to try and pretend
That I am immortal and immune to all that is wrong?
Never keep on wishing, for this is the end
You stared the dark starless night in wonder
Wondering who will be the one to bring the me that belonged to you down
Never wondering if that person will be nobody but yourself
Find your martyr for I am sure you have created the destiny
Light a fire under my bones so when I die
I could die for you at least
And die alone
It is not nothing for me to end up like this
Love is INSANE... INSANE I TELL YOU!
Unwanted Innocence
Blow away the fog
Take away the sight
Kill every single blissful dream
Make me realize that everything is not beautiful
Show me that
The world is not that bright
Show me every reason
For why I have to fight
Drag out the cruel reality
And make me watch
Make me wanna scream
Do something to kill my every dream
Bring me something
That would shatter my heart
Do not even try to save my dreams
I do not want you to save what is left of me
Because you see
I do not want this innocence anymore
And I will no longer have
Innocence eh...? I wonder if there's still any of innocence left in this world..?
Take away the sight
Kill every single blissful dream
Make me realize that everything is not beautiful
Show me that
The world is not that bright
Show me every reason
For why I have to fight
Drag out the cruel reality
And make me watch
Make me wanna scream
Do something to kill my every dream
Bring me something
That would shatter my heart
Do not even try to save my dreams
I do not want you to save what is left of me
Because you see
I do not want this innocence anymore
And I will no longer have
Innocence eh...? I wonder if there's still any of innocence left in this world..?
Your Words
Thousand of lies which made that pathway only to one truth,
Just for the questions I asked myself
Which I’ve been searched with this false identity
Flames which burns the memories of a true past
Lying to myself, oh, how I never wanted to understand
The meaning of one word ‘Love’
This scars that I received from betraying myself and this cruel world
Yet just those simple words you said are keeping me alive
Are memories so important that I am still able to breath?
Or is it you the only reason that I was able to live on?
The many battles that I fought with no reason
The words, the bloodsheds, the bondages, the pain and the death
An unknown world which has surrounded me all this time
It was you who opened my eyes into this reality
The blue sky is so simple compared to what is below it
The simple treasure I look at
This is so confusing
Yet so easy to understand
Is this what I have been searched for all my life within the darkness?
Just to be emotionless?
Just to be heartless?
Just to be tearless?
And just to be nothing?
No, it is wrong, so damn wrong
I have been fighting with only one reason even without realizing
With only one simple yet important reason, you
I stand and fight only for you
Everything in this world has to struggle to reach it
And to protect, I will stay alive to be strong
And will keep on fighting for you without any doubt in my heart
You are every reason I need to keep my will
The only reason I will keep on living in this cruel world
And your words would strengthen my will
Keeping me living and fight on
Did someone just DIED...?Nope,just another of my emotional randomness...
Just for the questions I asked myself
Which I’ve been searched with this false identity
Flames which burns the memories of a true past
Lying to myself, oh, how I never wanted to understand
The meaning of one word ‘Love’
This scars that I received from betraying myself and this cruel world
Yet just those simple words you said are keeping me alive
Are memories so important that I am still able to breath?
Or is it you the only reason that I was able to live on?
The many battles that I fought with no reason
The words, the bloodsheds, the bondages, the pain and the death
An unknown world which has surrounded me all this time
It was you who opened my eyes into this reality
The blue sky is so simple compared to what is below it
The simple treasure I look at
This is so confusing
Yet so easy to understand
Is this what I have been searched for all my life within the darkness?
Just to be emotionless?
Just to be heartless?
Just to be tearless?
And just to be nothing?
No, it is wrong, so damn wrong
I have been fighting with only one reason even without realizing
With only one simple yet important reason, you
I stand and fight only for you
Everything in this world has to struggle to reach it
And to protect, I will stay alive to be strong
And will keep on fighting for you without any doubt in my heart
You are every reason I need to keep my will
The only reason I will keep on living in this cruel world
And your words would strengthen my will
Keeping me living and fight on
Did someone just DIED...?Nope,just another of my emotional randomness...
Tears of Gray
My heart is a maze
Where no one can find
The undying secrets
Of deep feelings inside
The colors of my heart
The rainbow lying deep
Never shines as bright
As the hues you thought you saw
The black that fills my lungs
With its suffocating air
Full of sorrow
Lost hope and nothing but despair
The tears of gray
That clouds my misty eyes
Spills down my cheeks
With profound despise
Of broken promise
And fraud filled lies
That no one seems to compromise
My heart throbs with at times
And the flames began to fire
My tattered heart
And deep bruised soul
And taunted with desire
My fury blinds me
And takes control
Red is all I see
Rage is all I felt
Chains that holds me down
As I tried desperately to break free
I carried the weight of sorrow on my shoulder
Loneliness had consumed me into the dark
Shades of blue makes me felt
So alone in this world
Out of place with the peoples
I stand in my corner
All alone in the dark
My heart is ripped to shreds
Already broken apart
The faint light in the distance
Seemed to grow smaller and smaller each day that passed by
The pieces left of my happy heart
Are being blown away
Consumed by darkness
Curse that was set upon my soul
For going in and coming out of darkness
Will eat away all my happiness
Who will catch me when I fall?
Who will save me when I am dying?
Who will be there when I needed desperately?
Overcome by rage
Consumed by darkness
Falling into night
My body and soul
Will shatter into pieces
Emo.. Emo... Emo.... Complete Emo+Randomness!
Where no one can find
The undying secrets
Of deep feelings inside
The colors of my heart
The rainbow lying deep
Never shines as bright
As the hues you thought you saw
The black that fills my lungs
With its suffocating air
Full of sorrow
Lost hope and nothing but despair
The tears of gray
That clouds my misty eyes
Spills down my cheeks
With profound despise
Of broken promise
And fraud filled lies
That no one seems to compromise
My heart throbs with at times
And the flames began to fire
My tattered heart
And deep bruised soul
And taunted with desire
My fury blinds me
And takes control
Red is all I see
Rage is all I felt
Chains that holds me down
As I tried desperately to break free
I carried the weight of sorrow on my shoulder
Loneliness had consumed me into the dark
Shades of blue makes me felt
So alone in this world
Out of place with the peoples
I stand in my corner
All alone in the dark
My heart is ripped to shreds
Already broken apart
The faint light in the distance
Seemed to grow smaller and smaller each day that passed by
The pieces left of my happy heart
Are being blown away
Consumed by darkness
Curse that was set upon my soul
For going in and coming out of darkness
Will eat away all my happiness
Who will catch me when I fall?
Who will save me when I am dying?
Who will be there when I needed desperately?
Overcome by rage
Consumed by darkness
Falling into night
My body and soul
Will shatter into pieces
Emo.. Emo... Emo.... Complete Emo+Randomness!
Love's Midnight Blue
No love can wait forever
Drenched and standing
Under the rain
No heart can willingly remember
A message written in tears
Blood and pain
So I sit there
By a broken window
Repeating words
That are lost in the wind
How is it the sky cries my tears?
How is it only thunder can roars my pains?
Why can only lightning light my fears?
Why is it only clouds feel unstained?
Is it not my mind entitled
To more than heartaches?
Is it not my head
Can only feel the migraines?
And my heart
Filled with memories
But how can it be
That the rain brings me sadness
When its sole purpose
Is to bring life?
And how can your cheers
Brought me madness?
How can be that
Your kind words are as sharp as arrow
That could pierce through my heart?
But I have learn that
Nothing is what it is suppose to be
Life is meant to be lived with twists
So why can’t it make my soul see
Make my soul open it’s eyes
That my sadness
Had made me blind to what I have missed
What good is a comforting word
Full of questions that never voiced?
No one can help being turned
When one sorrow is only by choice
You should know that
Not everything would hurt you
Though every wound would leave a scar
You should know that
Not every love is midnight blue
Again,one of my favorite,randomness~~~
Drenched and standing
Under the rain
No heart can willingly remember
A message written in tears
Blood and pain
So I sit there
By a broken window
Repeating words
That are lost in the wind
How is it the sky cries my tears?
How is it only thunder can roars my pains?
Why can only lightning light my fears?
Why is it only clouds feel unstained?
Is it not my mind entitled
To more than heartaches?
Is it not my head
Can only feel the migraines?
And my heart
Filled with memories
But how can it be
That the rain brings me sadness
When its sole purpose
Is to bring life?
And how can your cheers
Brought me madness?
How can be that
Your kind words are as sharp as arrow
That could pierce through my heart?
But I have learn that
Nothing is what it is suppose to be
Life is meant to be lived with twists
So why can’t it make my soul see
Make my soul open it’s eyes
That my sadness
Had made me blind to what I have missed
What good is a comforting word
Full of questions that never voiced?
No one can help being turned
When one sorrow is only by choice
You should know that
Not everything would hurt you
Though every wound would leave a scar
You should know that
Not every love is midnight blue
Again,one of my favorite,randomness~~~
A Wish for the Night
Born from the silence, silence full of it
Perfect concern to my beloved
So much to live for, so much to die for
If only my heart have a home
Sing what you can’t say
Forget what you can’t play
Hasten drown into beautiful eyes
Walk within my poetry, this dying music
My love letter to nobody
Never sigh for a better world
For it is already composed, played and told
Every thought the music I wrote
Everything is a wish for the night
Wrote for the eclipse, wrote for the virgin
Died for the beauty, the one in the garden
Created a kingdom, reached for the wisdom
Failed in becoming a god
If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it
Remember only the verse, song maker’s cry, the one without tears
For I’ve given this strength, and it had became my only strength
Comforting home, lover’s lap, chance for immortality
Where being wanted became a thrill I never knew
The sweet piano writing down my life
Teach me passion for I fear it’s gone
Show me love, hold the lorn
So much more I wanted to give
I’m sorry
Time will tell, this bitter farewell
I live no more to shame nor me nor you
As the soul sang
It’s the path I chose
Within deep in my heart
The lonely soul that loves
That never comes to an end
One of my Personal Favorite.. Randomness!
Perfect concern to my beloved
So much to live for, so much to die for
If only my heart have a home
Sing what you can’t say
Forget what you can’t play
Hasten drown into beautiful eyes
Walk within my poetry, this dying music
My love letter to nobody
Never sigh for a better world
For it is already composed, played and told
Every thought the music I wrote
Everything is a wish for the night
Wrote for the eclipse, wrote for the virgin
Died for the beauty, the one in the garden
Created a kingdom, reached for the wisdom
Failed in becoming a god
If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it
Remember only the verse, song maker’s cry, the one without tears
For I’ve given this strength, and it had became my only strength
Comforting home, lover’s lap, chance for immortality
Where being wanted became a thrill I never knew
The sweet piano writing down my life
Teach me passion for I fear it’s gone
Show me love, hold the lorn
So much more I wanted to give
I’m sorry
Time will tell, this bitter farewell
I live no more to shame nor me nor you
As the soul sang
It’s the path I chose
Within deep in my heart
The lonely soul that loves
That never comes to an end
One of my Personal Favorite.. Randomness!
Love I Yearn
Moonlight flashes dimly tonight
Your silhouette passes through the open glade
The ocean laps gently on the shore
Not so my pounding heart which thunders in my chest
A myriad star glisters in the sky
You moved away I wonder why
The warmth has gone
The sky turns black
You have gone away
But I wanted you back
My love lies pounded
On the reef
Sad, broken
And shattered in grief
Demons of the night
Conspire to destroy the tender thoughts
The love within is strangled
As breath was caught
You told me yes
And then no
I never knew where to go
Or what to do
You open your arms
To draw me in
And then said no
It is a sin?
Your gaze with longing
Deep in my eyes
Then said it is wrong
To have desires?
You are gentle
Tender and yet so strong
Then cold and hard
And said it is wrong
You came into my heart like a tornado
With one glance
Ripped my heart out from my chest
But you threw it away
Like a piece of crumpled paper
Your face shone out
And drew me to you
Your touch is tender
Your smell is sweet
You crushed me with your steel exterior
You took my love
And trampled it under your feet
I stand at the outside
But still I yearn to be within
I close my eyes
And dream one day this sin
I know it is a sin
But yet I still yearn for it
Emo emo emo...That's all I can say.
Your silhouette passes through the open glade
The ocean laps gently on the shore
Not so my pounding heart which thunders in my chest
A myriad star glisters in the sky
You moved away I wonder why
The warmth has gone
The sky turns black
You have gone away
But I wanted you back
My love lies pounded
On the reef
Sad, broken
And shattered in grief
Demons of the night
Conspire to destroy the tender thoughts
The love within is strangled
As breath was caught
You told me yes
And then no
I never knew where to go
Or what to do
You open your arms
To draw me in
And then said no
It is a sin?
Your gaze with longing
Deep in my eyes
Then said it is wrong
To have desires?
You are gentle
Tender and yet so strong
Then cold and hard
And said it is wrong
You came into my heart like a tornado
With one glance
Ripped my heart out from my chest
But you threw it away
Like a piece of crumpled paper
Your face shone out
And drew me to you
Your touch is tender
Your smell is sweet
You crushed me with your steel exterior
You took my love
And trampled it under your feet
I stand at the outside
But still I yearn to be within
I close my eyes
And dream one day this sin
I know it is a sin
But yet I still yearn for it
Emo emo emo...That's all I can say.
Immortal Love
Immortal Love, it is the two words which had brought a great many tragic tales of regretful love, of the very same love that lasts for eternity and continues even in death. It was just two ordinary words uttered by an insignificant person in a time long ago which had never fade away like how it should. Two words which birthed a revolution in the world of love sap and romance novels.
Immortal Love, weaklings wished for this love to exist, for this love to befall upon them. I call them weaklings because of their foolishness, because then day when perfect and immortal came in a single moment would be the day where time would stop altogether. In the indifferent eyes of the naked truth, nothing is ever perfect.
Immortal Love, it was the love that was supposed to last for eternity, love that existed in tragic tales of regretful love, of the very same love that continues even in death. It was just two ordinary words uttered by an insignificant person in a time long ago which had never fade away like how it was supposed to. Two words which had birthed the revolution to the world of love sap and romance novels. Immortal Love, everyone and every soul wished for this love to exist, for this love to befall upon them. Perhaps if they waited long enough, it would.
Nothing is ever perfect in this imperfect world, nothing is ever immortal. But that does not matter, for what matter is the process of striving to achieve the impossible perfect and immortality. What matter was actually not the result but the process.
Weaklings are those who give up, not those who continue on fighting with determined mind and will to achieve the immutable perfectness and immortality without the thought of giving up.
No,I do NOT understand what is love when I was writing this.. I have no idea how did this came out either!
Immortal Love, weaklings wished for this love to exist, for this love to befall upon them. I call them weaklings because of their foolishness, because then day when perfect and immortal came in a single moment would be the day where time would stop altogether. In the indifferent eyes of the naked truth, nothing is ever perfect.
Immortal Love, it was the love that was supposed to last for eternity, love that existed in tragic tales of regretful love, of the very same love that continues even in death. It was just two ordinary words uttered by an insignificant person in a time long ago which had never fade away like how it was supposed to. Two words which had birthed the revolution to the world of love sap and romance novels. Immortal Love, everyone and every soul wished for this love to exist, for this love to befall upon them. Perhaps if they waited long enough, it would.
Nothing is ever perfect in this imperfect world, nothing is ever immortal. But that does not matter, for what matter is the process of striving to achieve the impossible perfect and immortality. What matter was actually not the result but the process.
Weaklings are those who give up, not those who continue on fighting with determined mind and will to achieve the immutable perfectness and immortality without the thought of giving up.
No,I do NOT understand what is love when I was writing this.. I have no idea how did this came out either!
Blood Searing Heart
Love is empty
Love is weak
I hold my breath
Afraid to speak
I cried in rage and sorrow
At the loves that passed by
Yet I pray for strength
For one more try
I want to soar
Above the clouds
With a thumping heart
To stand proud
To take this love
And shout with pride
To have us
Standing side by side
But I realize
There is no strength inside me
Days that I wished
Will never come
After all those tears
I have drowned in
All those cuts
Blood still runs down
The distance between us is hurting
My heart seared
But the closeness
Is what really kills me
Randomness!
Love is weak
I hold my breath
Afraid to speak
I cried in rage and sorrow
At the loves that passed by
Yet I pray for strength
For one more try
I want to soar
Above the clouds
With a thumping heart
To stand proud
To take this love
And shout with pride
To have us
Standing side by side
But I realize
There is no strength inside me
Days that I wished
Will never come
After all those tears
I have drowned in
All those cuts
Blood still runs down
The distance between us is hurting
My heart seared
But the closeness
Is what really kills me
Randomness!
Guarding another from the love of another
Leaving you with nothing tonight
Why does it sound like the devil is laughing?
Leaving me haunting tonight
You did decide
Now I want you, when you are gone
And now it is like,
You are holding something just in front of me
Well then, I cannot allow this became another
One of those times that I am left in the cold and silent, dead
There is no compromise
Just another tie
I know I need to sever
Ever haunted, by the trappings of this life
Sweet redemption, just in front of me
Well now, it seems once again I have lost another
One of the ones that have broken through the wall
Damned
Fate will not compromise
I have betrayed my soul
And now the devil is laughing
You were bold and strong, and ready to begin your life
All for nothing, you were sacrificed
You began alone, and so it will be when you die
All for nothing, will you be remembered?
Again,another Random Thoughts I guess...
Leaving you with nothing tonight
Why does it sound like the devil is laughing?
Leaving me haunting tonight
You did decide
Now I want you, when you are gone
And now it is like,
You are holding something just in front of me
Well then, I cannot allow this became another
One of those times that I am left in the cold and silent, dead
There is no compromise
Just another tie
I know I need to sever
Ever haunted, by the trappings of this life
Sweet redemption, just in front of me
Well now, it seems once again I have lost another
One of the ones that have broken through the wall
Damned
Fate will not compromise
I have betrayed my soul
And now the devil is laughing
You were bold and strong, and ready to begin your life
All for nothing, you were sacrificed
You began alone, and so it will be when you die
All for nothing, will you be remembered?
Again,another Random Thoughts I guess...
Empty Raged Eyes
Take the dagger
Under the dim moonlight
And pierce through this lonely heart
In the darkness of midnight
Let my spirit soar
Leave this meaningless life
Lift my head high
And look into the sky
That does not even exist
Blind my raged eyes
For red is all I could see
Darken my eyes
From the garish
Cold and unfeeling light
How long could I live
Within this dark
Cold world
Full with cruelty?
Looking into a piece of the shattered mirror
All my raged eyes could see is nothing
But a soulless body with red and empty eyes
Like the mirror
My heart is shattered
Leaving me nothing but a soulless body
And red raged yet empty eyes
Random as Always!
Under the dim moonlight
And pierce through this lonely heart
In the darkness of midnight
Let my spirit soar
Leave this meaningless life
Lift my head high
And look into the sky
That does not even exist
Blind my raged eyes
For red is all I could see
Darken my eyes
From the garish
Cold and unfeeling light
How long could I live
Within this dark
Cold world
Full with cruelty?
Looking into a piece of the shattered mirror
All my raged eyes could see is nothing
But a soulless body with red and empty eyes
Like the mirror
My heart is shattered
Leaving me nothing but a soulless body
And red raged yet empty eyes
Random as Always!
Bitter and Dark
Cold and dark
My mind may seem
A flicker in the darkness
Was what keeping me to go on
This face cold
Thin eyes piercing
My emotions subtle
But inside I scream
The flicker in the darkness
Is small and meek
Is it the burning light of flame
What I truly desire
Or is it the ability to find myself what I seek?
Look deeply inside myself to find
The shadow of the soul I hide behind
No longer shall I tend to the flicker
Hidden in the darkness
Of my mind and thoughts
The flicker will die
Leaving here cold
Bitter and dark
I don't really remember what I was thinking when I was writing this.. Hahaha,man it's like more than 3 years ago!
My mind may seem
A flicker in the darkness
Was what keeping me to go on
This face cold
Thin eyes piercing
My emotions subtle
But inside I scream
The flicker in the darkness
Is small and meek
Is it the burning light of flame
What I truly desire
Or is it the ability to find myself what I seek?
Look deeply inside myself to find
The shadow of the soul I hide behind
No longer shall I tend to the flicker
Hidden in the darkness
Of my mind and thoughts
The flicker will die
Leaving here cold
Bitter and dark
I don't really remember what I was thinking when I was writing this.. Hahaha,man it's like more than 3 years ago!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
